“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future”
A few months back I had a friend who sadly had a miscarriage, She wanted to share her story to raise awareness. So she used my blog to keep herself anonymous and I had such a big response from it. Since writing the post I’ve had a fair few messages asking how she is doing etc. So I asked her kindly to give you all an update to you in her own words again. If you havent read the first part of this then please click the link below.
(Written by my friend)
My last post was to raise awareness and to help other people grieve for the loss of a baby – and I really hope it has done that –
I was extremely broken, I couldn’t really see a way out or a way through the heartache but my family and friends got me through it and so did hope.
And my god I had heartache that would hit me at the most random times – a family bbq would break me and I wouldn’t want to socialise .. I felt so alone and that nobody else was feeling my pain or they was but they wasn’t showing me that they was … or that I was the only one hurting – which wasn’t the case.
I had ‘hope’ that actually it would happen again, and this time it ‘wasn’t meant to be.’ It was so hard to get my head around and a lot of people told me “it was meant to be” which at the time .. was the worst thing to say. In my eyes It was meant to be it was my baby.
I’m sitting here now – with a wriggling in my belly and 30 weeks! It doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the pain, or my little Bumble Bee – but it does mean my 3rd little baby is on its way. I feel like this is my first pregnancy all over again and any slight pain or movement I’m scared, every time I go for a wee I check for blood.. I found myself not wanting to share my news because I felt like a fraud – I’ve told them once and didn’t end up with a baby so how can I announce this again?..
the first 12 weeks were a complete blur! I ignored the whole pregnancy well as much as I could minus the sickness! I didn’t really want to think about it – the NHS have been amazing! – I had a scan at 8 weeks, 10’weeks and then at 12 weeks all reassurance scans ensuring baby was growing and everything was moving in the right direction. With my first little one I read everyday what to expect on the apps and what I’ll be feeling, this time I ignored everything – properly not the right thing to do but I couldn’t believe it was real and I didn’t want to believe that I could also loose this baby. If I didn’t think about it and didn’t get attached – it wouldn’t matter if anything happened. (Obviously not true)
But what I’m trying to say is – have hope, here I am growing my 3rd baby and currently we are happy and healthy! My little one is so excited to become a big brother and I’m so thankful to be able to give him this opportunity, don’t be scared to try again, there’s never a right time … you’ll never heal the pain or replace the baby but you can believe it will happen.
Words cant describe how happy and excited I am for you all and more importantly that another bundle of joy is on the way. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story, touched my heart so many times now and gives me goose bumps every time I read them. I feel so special that its up on my blog. I wonder when baby will make that special appearance, Good luck with everything, not long now. Don’t forget to not give up on ‘hope’.
If you have any questions regarding anything that was mentioned in this post today or you are going through something similar. Please don’t forget my inbox is always open to have a chat and that there is plenty of helplines. Miscarriage isn’t something you can just ignore, a lot of people go through similar things and you will be surprised at how many people can support you through it.
Don’t forget to like, comment and share, if you have anything else you would like my friend to write about please don’t hesitate to mention as she has also loved writing to you all.
Thank you for all being so kind.
( P.S Please don’t forget that your little Bee is looking down on you and loves you so much, you are doing an amazing job. )